The Beard Man and the Surreal Girl

The Beard Man: Behold your silent life companion! Yes, for just five easy payments of some amount, you too can feel the tender caress of the surreal.

The Beard Man: The surreal doll is the finest partner a man could hope for. Never too talkative, and always ready for a good time.

The Beard Man: And just between you and me, she is quite the looker!

The Beard Man: Oh yes. Melt like you mean it honey.